When I’m coaching people with unwanted habits it is fairly common to find out that they have had their unwanted habit for a long time, often years or decades. When anybody consistently does something for such a large amount of time it can even become part of them and how they and others think of themselves. So overcoming or finding the courage to overcome a bad habit doesn’t happen easily, it normally follows a breaking point.

If you listen to the success stories of your friends and family that have made a big change in their life it will often come back to one significant breaking point. Maybe they decided to quit smoking when someone close to them found out they had lung cancer. Or maybe they decided to stop nail biting when they found out they were turned down for a job because of their bitten hands. A close friend of mine decided to stop over eating after he stepped out of the shower, looked in the mirror and saw himself as ‘Homer Simpson with more hair’! (His words, not mine)

But you don’t need to wait for a breaking point. If you wanted to you could start making those changes today!

What bad habits are you ready to let go of?

This post re-iterates something that Tony Robbins is famous for sharing in his books and seminars. Tony talks about humans as having six fundamental needs. In our day to day lives we need these six things and, if they are ever missing, we change our behaviour until we get them. He goes so far as to say that all human behaviour is driven by the instinct to fulfill one or more of these six fundamental human needs.

Certainty/Comfort

Certainty and comfort are things that nearly all humans move towards. You get cold? You do something to warm up. You feel like you might lose your job? You either lift your performance or find a job that is more secure. Because the truth is that we all want comfort. And the easiest source of comfort is certainty. Certainty about what we can expect, certainty that the sun will rise tomorrow, certainty that we have a job to go to and certainty that there will be food in the fridge. If you stop for a moment and imagine those things not being true for you… it may not feel very comfortable. If you didn’t feel certain there would be food in the fridge tomorrow do you think you would be doing something about that? Yes, that is because certainty/comfort is a strong human need!

Variety

So the flip side to certainty is variety, and we need variety to feel alive. Without variety we feel dead inside. Humans can get variety by doing drugs, we can get variety by eating (Eating gives comfort AND variety.. interesting!). You can also introduce variety by setting goals, working towards challenges, starting a new job. Without variety in our lives we lack a source of adventure in our lives and things get boring and humans HATE being bored.

Significance

We all have a need to feel significant, important, special, unique – the feeling of being needed. Every single human has this need, the difference is how we go about it. Some of us pursue it by chasing material wealth, others pursue it through their spirituality while others gets significance from having more tattoos and piercings than anybody else they know! You can get significance in a positive, neutral or negative way. Some people even gain significance through being sick or having a major illness, while others fulfill their need through becoming a politician or leader of a local club. If you’ve ever heard someone say “They would never be able to cope without me” they are likely to be fulfilling their need for significance through their involvement.

Connection/Love

There is a fundamental need for people to feel part of a community. Even though there is a difference between connection and love, most people just (sadly) settle for connection. Connection is so much safer, you’re putting so much less at risk. But ideally we need love, and if we knew that we could have love without risks or dangers then we would grab it with both hands and embrace it. Not only do we want to be cared for, we have a need to care for those that are important for us too.

Growth

Humans have a need to feel like they are growing, like they are getting better and like they are advancing. This ties in beautifully with our need for variety as growth is a great source of variety. In fact, through gradually increasing the challenges involved in what we are doing, in order to grow, humans are most likely to experience the optimal human experience, flow. Anybody who has ever trained to win a sporting event, or indulged their competitive streak, has experienced the joy of fulfilling our need for growth and the challenges that brings.

Contribution

When humans feel like they are contributing it adds immensely to their experience. Whether they are contributing financially to a charity, by volunteering their time with a community group or even doing paid work for a worthwhile organisation the intangible feeling of ‘contributing’ can be so rewarding. The need to feel like they are a part of making the world a better place can be found in all of us.

So why is all this important?

Most people will pick one or two of these that are much more important to them than the others.You can probably think of someone who has a focus on Growth and Variety – maybe they are a sportsman constantly changing from one sport to another? Or someone who has a focus on Contribution and Certainty/Comfort that never really pushes their comfort zone yet gives a huge amount to their community… There are lots of combinations, but regardless of the combination, people are fulfilling some of these basic human needs with pretty much everything that they do.

When you look at that list can you think of the two that are most important to you? And, although prioritisng those two things will be getting you mainly what you want, is it possible that if you were to prioritise other needs you may open yourself up to a greater experience?

Time Line Therapy^TM is a technique that utilises both Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Eriksonian Hypnosis that was first developed in 1985 by Tad James. It is based on the premise that there is the past, now and the future, but in reality there is only the now. We hold an idea of the past and the future in our minds. That idea includes our memories, our decisions and our good/bad experiences. Because we hold this idea in our mind we can change that idea to have a profound and lasting impact on how we feel right now about things in the past or the future.

Eliciting Your Time Line

Before any work can be done using Time Line Therapy^TM your time line must be elicited. This process is usually quick and simple. Many people have never thought about it but we have a way or organising things that have happened in the past, and a way of organising things that we believe will happen in the future. Most people, when they think about it, can even point in the direction of their past, and the direction of their future. And they can notice that those two directions sort of form a line between their past and future. This process is best done formally by a Time Line Practitioner.

Releasing Negative Emotions

Time Line Therapy^TM is a really good way to release negative emotions from the unconscious mind. Because the unconscious mind can only Generalise, Delete or Distort what happens to us we store emotions in the mind in a structure called a Gestalt. The Gestalt is a generalisation of each emotion and it has a First Event, the first time we felt that emotion, and then subsequent Significant Emotional Events that have been generalised to be like the first event. When using Time Line Therapy^TM it normally only takes a release of the First Event for the entire Gestalt to begin to release, taking with it the negative emotions. The main negative emotions that Time Line Therapy^TM is used with are:

• Anger
• Sadness
• Fear
• Guilt

Although these are the main four, it is possible to use Time Line Therapy^TM with any emotion that the clients mind has a linguistic label for.

Releasing Anxiety

While most negative emotions appear in the past, Anxiety is an emotion that appears in the future. Time Line Therapy^TM is a very useful way for resolving Anxiety with a client. In my personal experience Anxiety can be resolved using Time Line Therapy^TM in as little as 2 to 5 minutes on most events. It is important for the Time Line Therapy^TM Practitioner to clearly differentiate between Anxiety and Fear as Fear must be treated in the past although the presenting symptoms may be similar.

Releasing Limiting Decisions

Limiting Decisions are also sometimes called Limiting Beliefs. They are things that we have decided in the past, or currently believe about ourselves, that mean that we don’t reach our full potential. For example, if you believed you were stupid you would be less likely to expect good results from your studies. While, if the belief/decision that you were stupid was released then you would approach your studies differently. Time Line Therapy^TM is much more effective than the traditional NLP Method of Submodality changes for making long lasting changes to limiting beliefs. While the submodality changes will change how you feel about the belief, Time Line Therapy^TM will release the Gestalt with that belief in it.

What else?

This article only touches on the basics of what Time Line Therapy^TM can do. The truth is that Time Line Therapy^TM can also be used to place goals in your future, remove phobias, facilitate forgiveness of people in your life and much much more. People are increasingly recognising the role that emotions play in illness and disease – imagine the role that Time Line Therapy^TM can play in health by releasing negative emotions.

Interested in Time Line Therapy^TM?

If you are interested in Time Line Therapy^TM then please get in touch. I am a Certified Time Line Therapy^TM Practitioner and was taught by the creator, Tad James. I regularly conduct Time Line Therapy^TM sessions both face-to-face and over the phone. If you have read this article and you are interested in finding out more or interested in experiencing the benefits for yourself then please get in touch. My Contact Details are available here.

Disclaimer…

WARNING: Time Line Therapy^TM is extremely powerful and has the possibility of changing a person’s personality totally and completely in a very short period of time. It is therefore important, for your safety, that any therapeutic use of these techniques be done by someone trained in Time Line Therapy^TM.

Further Reading

- Time Line Therapy^TM and The Basis of Personality by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall

The true measure of a great leader is not how many followers they can create, but how many leaders they can make from their followers. Many leaders focus on getting people to follow them. They have a vision for how things could be different and they do an amazing job at mobilising people behind their cause. The downfall of this leadership is that once the leader is removed you’re left with a bunch of followers…

On the other hand, there are leaders that manage to allow their followers to develop into leaders. Lord Baden-Powell, founder of the worldwide Scouting movement, passed away over 65 years ago yet his legacy lives on through the hundreds of thousands of people affected by the Scouting movement. Lord Baden-Powell found a way to not only create followers but built a system that sustainably fosters the growth of its followers into leaders.

What will happen when you are no longer acting as a leader? Will things continue, like the Scouting movement, or will they fail? Judge the power of your leadership by the legacy you leave rather than what you’re achieving here and now.

Start fostering leaders and your progress becomes unstoppable!

Following on from my previous post Milton Model Part 1 and Milton Model Part 2 this post includes even more Milton Model Patterns for your viewing pleasure. If you haven’t had a chance to read Part 1 first, I highly recommend that you start there. Part 3 concludes the list of Milton Model Patterns.

Pace Current Experience

The Pace Current Experience pattern is one of the quickest patterns for getting agreement and putting someone into a trance conversationally. Essentially what you do with this pattern is you say things that are undeniable about the other persons experience. You don’t just mention one thing though, you mention multiple, and as you mention more and more things you will find them being drawn in more and more by what you are saying.

Here are some examples of statements that pace current experience:

• As you sit there, reading this article, thinking about what it means and wondering how you could use these patterns…
• As you look you can feel how your clothes feel against your skin, and how quickly, or slowly, you’re breathing and…
• You’ve looked at the brochure, you’ve spoken to our sales staff and now you’ve come into the show room…

So why is this useful? This is the basis of what they call a ‘Yes Ladder’ in Sales. If you can say several things that are undeniably true then you can normally say something that is possible, but not definitely true, and have the other person readily agree. And as they agree with that last suggestion/statement the can begin to unconsciously move in a new direction.

An example if you were introducing trance could be:

As you sit there, listening to my voice, and hearing what I say, you can begin to feel incredibly relaxed. As you begin to feel incredibly relaxed you can allow yourself to sink deep, deep down into trance, now.

Or an example in sales could be:

You’ve seen this car on TV, you’ve come down to the show room and now you’ve taken it for a test drive and by now you’re probably ready to start filling in the paperwork.

Double Bind

A double bind is when you give the listener a choice, but where regardless of their choice they still do what you want them to do. This pattern works especially well with children, though if you over-use it they will work it out pretty quickly! This pattern is best explained with an example:

• Would you prefer to take the bin out tonight or tomorrow morning?
• Do you want to go to bed now or in 5 minutes?
• Would you prefer to buy this in blue or red?
• Is it better for you if we meet in the morning or the afternoon?

The key to see in each of these statements is that although the listener is given a choice, regardless of their choice they are implicitly agreeing to something else. Regardless of whether they take the bin out tonight, or tomorrow morning, they are still agreeing to take the bin out when they answer. Regardless of whether they prefer to buy it in blue, or red, they are still agreeing to buy it.

Conversational Postulate

A conversational postulate is where you take a command (i.e. something you want the listener to do) and turn it into a question. This greatly softens the command and will increase compliance. Essentially, it avoids the feeling of authoritarianism that can come from telling someone what to do.

Examples of conversational postulates are:

• Can you close the door?
• Would you mind signing this document?
• What are the chance of you picking my clothes up from the dry cleaner on your way home from work?

In each example there is a clear command (i.e. Close the door, sign the document, pickup my clothes from the dry cleaner) though the way it is framed make it sound like a request that the person could potentially refuse. It may sound counter-intuitive but because the option to refuse is presented it makes the listener less likely to refuse, and much more likely to comply.

Extended Quotes

Extended Quotes is a beautiful pattern that creates confusion in the listener really, really quickly. You essentially start talking about someone (Person #1) and then tell the listener that this person(Person #1) then said something that he (Person #1) had heard from someone (Person #2) and that he (Person #2) had heard something from someone (Person #3) who had said “<insert command here>”. What happens is that the mind loses track of who is saying what, and because the mind loses track of who is saying what it gets confused, drops the listener into trance and makes them much more likely to accept the suggestions. It also makes it okay for you to say whatever you want to the listener, because it isn’t you saying it to them, it is the person who is being quoted saying it to a 3rd party.

Confused yet? Maybe an example will help:

So I was talking to John and he had been sailing on the weekend with his friend Matthew and they had both been talking to this guy in the bar about what it takes to make a boat sail well. And he said “It doesn’t matter what you know, it matters that you learn quickly.” And I don’t really know why he said that, but he said it again, “It doesn’t matter what you know, it matters that you learn quickly.” “and the more that he said it, the more I just sort of found myself agreeing with him,” said John.

Or another example in a business environment. Say for example you received the objection that your product was ‘too expensive’ from a prospective client. You could use this pattern like so:

You are not the first person to say our product is too expensive. In fact, I got a call from a past client last week who had said the very same thing to me. He was telling me about how he was talking to a colleague about how hesitant he had been to make a decision on our product, because of the price. And he took a little while before he made his decision. But looking back he wished he had just gone for it and made the decision right away. Because even though he felt it was expensive at the time, having had it as long as he had, he now wonders how he coped without it. It saves him so much time and makes things so much easier for him. And that’s interesting, because his colleague phoned me almost straight away after speaking with him and decided that it was the product for him. Because even though it was expensive, it was exactly what he needed and he wanted it now.

This is an extremely powerful pattern and a lot of fun to use!

Selectional Restriction Violation

A selectional restriction violation is where you suggest properties of a noun that the noun cannot posses. For example, it is quite possible to suggest that humans and animals have feelings. But can an object like a chair have feelings? The answer is no, so when you suggest that an object like a chair has feelings you are suggesting propertieis of a noun that the noun cannot posses – or making use of a selectional restriction violation!

Examples of this include:

• A car can have feelings.
• Remember, the walls have ears in this office!
• How do you think the chair feels under your weight?

This was notably used by Martin Luther King Jr in his speech (Quote a hypnotic speech if you analysis it). To quote, “This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.” – the idea that Negro’s legitimate discontent can be described as a ’sweltering summer’ or freedom and equality can be described as an ‘invigorating autumn’ are both selectional restriction violations. Or, to quote again, “Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!” – how does freedom ‘ring’?

The key is that even though at a logical level Selectional Restriction Violations don’t make sense, when you use them they add a poetic and trance inspiring nature to your communication.

Ambiguity

Ambiguity is really the core of the entire Milton Model. The language is about introducing things into your speech that make it hard for people to understand specifically what you are saying. It forces them to try and make sense of it at an unconscious level, and as they do it naturally deepens their level of trance. There are four types of ambiguity specifically that deepen trance even further:

Phonological Ambiguity

This is when you use two words that sound the same, but have different meanings. Examples of this include:

• ‘By now’ sounds the same as ‘buy now’
• ‘Hear’ sounds the same as ‘Here’
• ‘There’, ‘their’, ‘they’re’ all sound the same too.

How would you use this in a sentence? As you sit here, hearing the sound of my voice in your left ear hear and your right ear hear what you can hear here. When said out loud? Very confusing! Or in business you can wrap up a sales presentation with: By now, you can probably see the benefits of our product in your business. See what I did there?

Syntactic Ambiguity

This is when the listener cannot determine from the syntax of what you’ve said exactly what you mean. Examples of this include:

• They are visiting relatives – Are the people relatives that are visiting? Or are the people away visiting their relatives?
• I’ve had enough of managing managers – Have I had enough of spending time managing what the managers do and don’t do? Or have I had enough of managers that are managing?
• Selling salesmen can be trick! – Is it tricky trying to sell a salesman? Or are salesmen that are selling tricky?

Scope Ambiguity

Scope ambiguity is where your ambiguous language leaves the listener unsure as to how much of the sentence the descriptors apply to. For example:

• Speaking to you as a child – Am I a child speaking to you? Or am I speaking to you like I would speak to a child?
• The old men & women – Are the men and women old, or just the men?
• My older brother & sister – Is the sister older as well?

Punctuation Ambiguity

Punctuation ambiguity is where you pause as if a sentence has finished, but then keep going with the sentence. You place pauses… in places… people don’t necessarily… expect them. This is often very confusing for the conscious mind, but the unconscious mind still grasps the meaning. Examples include:

• I want you to notice your *pause* hand *pause* me the glass – That will be interpreted as two sentences, both ‘I want you to notice your hand’ and ‘hand me the glass’.
• Sometimes people aren’t *pause* ready *pause* for this to happen – That will be interpreted as two sentences, both ‘Sometimes people aren’t ready’ and ‘ready for this to happen’.

Utilization

Utilization is an incredibly fun language pattern. Essentially it works by noticing something that is undeniable you have observed, and that the listener can also observe, and then assigning a larger meaning to what you’ve observed. By pointing out things that the listener is yet to notice it will not only deepen their trance, it will also lead to them to feel more convinced about what you are talking to them about.

Examples of utlization include:

• *other person yawns* and you say “It is good to yawn, because yawns indicate that learnings are being processed at the unconscious level”
• *other person coughs* and you say “With each cough feel the tension releasing in your chest and shoulders”
• *other person says “I’m angry”* and you say “That’s right, you’re angry because you haven’t yet had a chance to release what you’re angry about yet”

This has obvious applications in therapy, but it is equally useful in business. Take for example someone who says to you “I am not sold.” You could utilise that and reply with something like “That’s right, you are not sold yet, because you haven’t asked the one question that will have you totally and completely sold.” Powerful stuff!

What next?

This article concludes the three part explanation of the Milton Model. The key to you going from where you are now, to a point where you can use this model unconsciously, is to pick one pattern for the day (or week) and just practice, practice, practice! Now that you have all 19 patterns at your disposal all that stands between where you are and mastery of them is time and effort. The more you use them, the easier it gets and the easier it gets the better the results you will enjoy.

This video is taken from a NLP Seminar run in April, 2010. It is a quick two minute introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming and its history. Enjoy!

So often people have every reason imaginable as for why they aren’t good enough, shouldn’t try something or why they won’t succeed if they try. Funnily enough, they’ll often have avid supporters trying to encourage them to give it a go!

Often a change in perspective can make the difference between marked pessimism and a strong feeling of inspiration! When did you decide you weren’t good enough? When did you decide you don’t have what you need to start living your dream now? When are you going to decide to start making the positive changes in your life to get the results you desire?

Don’t wait until you know everything you need to know before getting started. There will always be more to learn, but you can learn as you go. Are you going to chose a perspective of not feeling good enough, or are you going decide to believe in yourself? The choice is yours…

You have everything you need right NOW to do what you need to do. So get started!

The 4MAT System is a system you can use to format your presentation and communications to make it understandable to the broadest percentage of the population. In essence it is based on the fact that different listeners want different things from what you’re saying – and until they get what they are listening for they will not feel like they’ve heard what they need to hear. So what are the different types of listeners? Some people want to know Why, some people want to know What, some people want to know How and the rest want to know What If.

More specifically what each group of peoples wants to hear is:

Why? People (Approx 35% of population)
Why people learn best through discussions. They want to discuss the reasons why, specifically so they can find out why something is worth doing. They are unlikely to take action until they’ve explored the reasons for doing so.

What? People (Approx 22% of population)
What people learn best from teaching. They want to be taught the information either verbally or be given it on paper. What people are going to be the most satisfied when they are presented with so much information that they can’t keep up. They are likely to take lots of notes and try to get as much of it down as possible.

How? People (Approx 18% of population)
How people learn best from coaching. They don’t really care about the reasons or the theory – they want to be diving in there and getting their hands dirty. The sooner you have How people doing something and giving them feedback on what they are doing the happier they will be.

What If? People (Approx 25% of population)
What If people learn best from self discovery. Don’t be surprised when What If people, after being given clear instructions, go off and do something completely different. They get great pleasure from changing things around, trying out new ways of doing things and trying to get an answer to the question of “I wonder what would happen if I just tried this… or that… or…?”. What If people are great at considering the consequences of what they are doing and testing the boundaries. You can really engage this way of thinking by speculating about the opportunities to embrace and extend what they have learnt about.

How to Use the 4MAT System

So now you have this new information, but what do you do with it? And why would you want to? You’d want to use this information because you’ll be able to much more effectively communicate your message to the listener. And what you want to do is to play to each of the 4 types of people, because in most audiences you will have a mixture of the different types.

You want to start your communication by sharing the answer for the Why people. Until they get a good reason for listening they unlikely to really engage with what you are saying. Once you have given the Why people an answer you want to start delivering the theory, start the teaching that will make the What people happy. Follow the theory with a chance for the listener to get their hands dirty and you’ll have satisfied the How people in the audience. Finally, you can close your communication with a discussion of the future, the opportunities and the potential and you’ll have very happy What If people.

By structuring your presentation to answer all four questions you will be able to satisfy all of your listeners.

4MAT System in a Sales Presentation

As way of an example, consider how you could use the 4MAT System in a Sales Presentation. This is equally valid if you are selling one-to-one or to a larger group.

• Launch your presentation with a “This is why I have come to talk to you and this is why you would want to know what I can do for you”
• Explain what you can do for them. Go into the details and explain exactly what it is that you are offering.
• Then you want to go into details about how it will work for them. Explain “This is how it can work for you. This is how similar clients have used it to their benefit”. If your product/service allows for you to give them a hands of demo then this is the time to let them touch it.
• Then share with the the potential benefits if they do go ahead and the consequences if they decide not to go ahead.
• Finally you close and ask for the sale.

How could you use The 4MAT System?

The 4MAT System is a powerful system for engaging with an audience. How could you use it to make your communication more powerful?

• Could you use it in your sales presentations?
• Could you use it in the class room?
• Could you use it when trying to persuade your friends/family/staff of a fresh idea?
• Could you use it in your written work?

The potential is huge – start using it and enjoy the results!

Following on from my previous post Milton Model Part 1, this post includes even more Milton Model Patterns for your viewing pleasure. If you haven’t had a chance to read Part 1 first, I highly recommend that you start there.

Universal Quantifier

A Universal Quantifier is any set of words that contains a universal generalisation AND lacks a referential index.

So what’s a universal generalisation? Words like ‘all’, ‘every’ and ‘whole’ that refer to everything.  Universal generalisations can also be negative, such as ‘never’, ‘no-one’, ‘nothing’ etc. The key is that the word must refer to everything.

The second part, lacking a referential index, means a phrase that doesn’t refer to anything in particular. So you use words like ‘it’, ‘that’, ‘things’, ’stuff’ etc.

For a statement to be a Universal Quantifier it must contain BOTH a Universal Generalisation AND lack a referential index. It can look something like this:

• Everything feels like that.
• And all the things, all the things…
• That is never…
• No-one knows that.

Modal Operator

Modal Operators are words that imply either necessity or possibility. These words are often used to form and reinforce the rules in our lives. They are incredibly empowering (Or disempowering), depending on how they are used. Modal Operators of Necessity are words that imply something must be done (All the odd numbered examples). Modal Operators of Possibility are words that imply something could be done (All the even numbered examples).

Examples of Modal Operators include:

1. Should
2. Could
3. Must
4. Might
5. Need
6. Want

Take for example these two statements:

• You should go to the Post Office.
• You could go to the Post Office.

They feel very different. The first statement uses a Modal Operator of Necessity (Should) while the second statement uses a Model Operator of Possibility (Could). If someone is feeling bad about something they will almost certainly be using modal operators of necessity. Try repeating back to them what they said to you, but swap the Necessity words with Possibility words and enjoy the results!

Nominalization

Nominalization is what we call it when you transform a verb or process into a noun. The easiest way to spot a nominalization is to look for words that end in ‘ion’ such as Communication, Decision or Relationship. Communication is the process of communicating, decision is the process of deciding and relationship is the process of relating. By using nominalizations we reference the process in a way that assumes it has completed.

In sales you may have a client that tells you they are ‘deciding’ on whether your product is right for them. By beginning to use the nominalization of ‘decided’ you can shift their thinking quite quickly towards them already having made a decision.

Unspecified Verb

Any verb that lacks an adverb is unspecified. When you use unspecified verbs it will sound like you’re only saying half of the sentence. For, instead of finishing the sentence with an adverb (Like the listener would normally expect) you stop short and leave their unconscious mind to fill in the blank.

Examples of unspecified verbs include:

• That can help…
• That’s the way…
• And you can….
• You know…
• You may discover…

Tag Question

This is one of the easiest and funnest Milton Model pattern that you can start using straight away. A tag question is literally adding a rhetorical question onto the end of what you say, isn’t it? When you start using them, people just find themselves agreeing with you, don’t they? And they don’t even know why, do they? The funny thing is, most people already use these… right?

Here are a bunch of examples:

• …haven’t you?
• …don’t you?
• …won’t you?
• …can’t you?
• …right?

Lack of Referential Index

These patterns are really useful because they are just so vague! Any phrase that doesn’t refer to something in particular lacks a referential index.When you refer to something but the way that you refer to it makes it very ambiguous as to what you are actually referring to. For example using the word ‘it’, ‘them’, ‘that, ‘thing’, ’stuff’ etc.

These are some examples:

• Remember that thing that we left behind at that place near that person? (This statement lacks 3 referential indexes – but as you read it the statement should still make sense)
• One can, you know…
• How they said it made all the difference.
• Sometimes that thing happens

We do this naturally all the time, don’t we? (Whoops… tag questions was the previous pattern ). Take for example if you are describing an argument. I made this argument up to show the pattern in use, but I’m sure you could have heard something like this before: ’she said this then he said that and it was all over the place and before we knew it that person rocked up who everyone hated and he was saying that stuff about her mother but nobody knew whether it was her natural mother or her step-mother’…

Comparative Deletion

A Comparative Deletion is very similar to a Lost Performative (Described in Part 1 of this article) where a comparison is made but it is not specified as to what or whom the comparison is being made to. While a Lost Performative relates to the person making the judgment being left out, a Comparative Deletion relates to the leaving out what it is being compared to.

Examples of Comparative Deletion’s include:

• The bus was much bigger.
• And it’s more or less the right thing…
• Things weren’t that good.
• But it didn’t go as well.

When you make a comparison in this way it is incredibly hard for the listener to disagree with it. How can you disagree with something when you don’t know what it is being compared to? You can’t! So this is a great technique for you to use when trying to be persuasive.

Wondering what’s next?

Combined with Part 1 you now have 12 of the 19 patterns of the Milton Model. Look forward to the next article that will include the final seven language patterns. Remember, the key to you going from where you are now, to a point where you can use this model unconsciously, is to pick one pattern for the day (or week) and just practice, practice, practice!

NLP & Hypnosis regularly focus on ways to become more successful, but what are you supposed to when you start getting those results? Sure, most of the personal development is in the journey, but when you get runs on the board it is vitally important that you celebrate them!

Too often people break their back trying to reach their dreams and goals, and then they get there. But then that’s it. They are left with a hollow feeling and sometimes even think “Is this it? Did I work so hard for *this*?”. We can be so focused on making the journey successful that we forget to celebrate reaching our destination.

Not only is a celebration a whole heap of fun but it also serves to reinforce to your subconscious mind that it has done a good job. This reinforcement will make your subconscious mind even more willing to work with you on future goals and targets. Not to mention the morale boost it will give to your loyal supporters!

Celebrate your successes! Share them with the world!