Many people are surprised to hear that Trance is not a binary state (i.e. in trance or not in trance) but more of an analogue scale from very light trance all the way through to a very deep trance. Milton Erickson defined trance as the process of learning to go into trance. He went on to suggest that there are three experiential stages of hypnosis that you can learn to go into:

• Light Trance: Critical faculties are put on hold.
• Simple Trance: The client manifests the appearance of a deep trance but internally is merely compliant with suggestions.
• Deep Trance: The client actually experiences the suggestions as reality.

Both Light and Simple trances can be induced in a relatively short time. On the other hand, Erickson recommended an initial period of three to eight hours for training a subject to into a deep trance! Results will vary depending on your client, it is the time that it takes them to learn to go into trance that will decide on the time involved as much as it will rely on your skill as a Hypnotherapist.

So how do the levels of trance differ?

In Light Trance it is normal to comfortably experience:

• Lethargy
• Relaxation
• Eye Catalepsy
• Arm Catalepsy
• Catalepsy of isolated Muscle Groups
• Heavy or Floating Feelings

In Simple Trance it is normal to comfortably experience:

• Smell and Taste Changes
• Number Blocks (Where the client forgets numbers)
• Amnesia
• Analgesia (No Pain)
• Automatic Movement

In Deep Trance it is normal to comfortably experience:

• Hallucinations (Positive)
• Bizarre Post-Hypnotic Suggestions
• Anesthesia (No feelings)
• Negative Hallucinations
• Comatose
• Somnambulism

A “yes set” is an agreement frame that is used in many contexts, including Hypnotherapy, sales and even parenting. It is useful for leading the other person towards agreeing with you on something by getting their agreement on small, reasonable questions first. The principle is really straight forward: the likelihood of someone agreeing with your suggestion will rise significantly if they have immediately previously agreed with you on multiple other points.

Sales

A common example in Sales could be something like this:
“Are you looking for a car today? (yes) You’ve probably decided on whether you want a small car or a large car? (yes) And you probably want to see a car that is good value for money? (yes) Would you like to see this new BMW we just got in?”
Or if you were selling a service, such as Business Consulting:
“Is quality important to you? (yes) Is your time important to you? (yes) If you could be making more profit would you listen to someones suggestions? (yes) Great, then could we make an appointment to discuss what we could help you with?”

Hypnotherapy

In a Hypnotherapy setting is extensively used in trance inductions and the setup of suggestibility tests. For example a Hypnotherapist may say:
“To begin with I want you to stand up (yes), stand with your feet apart (yes), take a big deep breath (yes) and then close your eyes and go into a deep, deep trance (suggestions).”
The client is much more likely to accept the suggestion to close their eyes and go into a deep, deep trance if the Hypnotherapist has first installed compliance using a Yes Set.

Parenting

You’ve probably already started to get the idea, but here is an example for a parent who wanted their children to go swimming:
“The sun is shining, it’s warm, it is such a beautiful day, let’s go swimming.”
As you can see with this example it is not strictly necessary to have the other person say “Yes” in response to each part of the sentence, just for them to end up agreeing with the final suggestion.

In addition to saying the questions that form a Yes Set you are also likely to find that nodding your head while waiting for their answers will increase the effectiveness of this pattern, and the speed at which they answer.

What next?

Yes Set’s occur naturally in conversation and, now that you are aware of them, you’ll probably notice them in your conversations with others and maybe even on TV. As with all linguistic patterns the key is to begin to use them. The more than you use them the easier they will become and the more you will find yourself using them in suitable situations. Enjoy!

Being Certified as a NLP Practitioner is based upon an agreed upon minimum level of knowledge and training duration. The American Board of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (ABNLP) specifies that for some to be certified as a NLP Practitioner they must demonstrate the ability to identify the following basic skills, techniques, patterns and concepts of NLP and to utilise them competently with self and others:

• Presuppositions of NLP
• Present state to desired state
• Well Formed Outcomes
• State Management
• Rapport
• Sensory acuity & calibration
• Representational systems (primary and lead)
• Association, dissociation, perceptual positions
• Accessing & building resources
• Meta Model
• Milton Model
• Meta Programs (Basic – based on Jungarian sychology) – elicitation and utilisation
• Metaphors
• Submodalities
• VK Dissociation
• Swish Pattern
• Standard Belief Change
• Changing drivers
• Eliciting Strategies
• TOTE
• Reframing
• Parts
• Spotting and utilising incongruity
• Basic timeline work
• Logical levels
• Process versus content
• Perceptual Positions
• Well Formed Outcome

Duration of the Practitioner training must be a minimum of 130 hours (over a minimum of 7 days, face-to-face training), in the basics of NLP patterns led by a Certified Trainer of NLP from a recognised training institute.

These standards were created based on much research of various NLP courses throughout the world. A minimum training standard is applicable due to the numerous courses available and the potential for low standards of NLP being taught. Training taken to this standard, with a Certified ABNLP Trainer, will allow you to gain membership with the ABNLP and various other Boards around the globe.

Source: www.abh-abnlp.com

When discussing a problem with clients it isn’t uncommon for me to hear about all the things that they ’should’ be doing. And normally the things that they ’should’ be doing aren’t the things that they are actually doing (Surprise, surprise). They should be exercising more, they should be saving more, they should be getting to bed earlier…

But if you think about it… there is actually very little that we ’should’ do.

Linguistically, ’should’ is a modal operator of necessity. If you ever hear terms like ’should’, ‘must’ or ‘have to’ in your speech, or that of your friends/family, you could legitimately ask, “According to who?”. Or, “What would happen if you didn’t?”. Because there is so little that we ’should’ be doing this word is often used to make us feel guilty or bad about what we’re not doing. Instead of feeling guilty maybe it is more constructive to consider to real reason why it is important… because maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that it isn’t quite as important as you at first thought.

If you are going to use the word ’should’, keep it to yourself. It is one thing to talk about what you should be doing without imposing your ’shoulds’ onto others.

Don’t should on people. Open up possibilities!

Contrary to popular belief the words that we use to communicate are a mere 7% of what we use to receive communication from another person. When deciding whether we like someone body language makes up 55% of the communication with voice tonality accounting for the remaining 38% of the communication. This is according to research that has been freely available since 1971 (Thanks to Albert Mehrabian).

What this means is that how you say it, is WAAAAAY more important that what you say. And how you stand/sit/move when you say it are even more important again. What is it saying that you’ve got your arms crossed? How does the gruff tone of voice change the meaning of what you just said? Are you coming across as congruent – or maybe your words don’t quite match the rest of your communication?

To become a true master of communication you must have control and flexibility over your body language and tone of voice.

Communication is more than the words we speak!

This video is a really interesting talk at TED in 2008 by Martin Seligman, an American Psychologist. It provides an interesting insight into how Psychology has evolved over the last several decades and discusses the change on focus from finding problems with people, and their past, towards finding ways to make the lives of people happier.

How could we tackle the topic of communication without delving into the art of listening? As an effective communicator you are going to spend a lot of your time simply listening, probably most of your time in fact! The joy of communicating is being understood. Through your listening ability you can share this joy with the people in your life.

As a listener you need to make sure that you properly understand what is communicated. As an active listener you can do this by asking questions, mirroring back what they say and using non-verbal cues to show understanding. Does what they’re saying make sense? Nod your head! Do you need clarification? Repeat back to them part of what they’ve said with a questioning tone and they’ll happily expand upon that point.

Remember: You are 100% responsible for the communication. Your role as a listener is just as important as that of the talker! Take the steps to actively listen and notice the difference in the results from your communication.

People like to be heard. Actively listening too them is a powerful act.

When dealing with communication it is common to focus on the way that you are communicating, what words you chose and possibly even your body language. This weeks motivator focuses on how even when you’re not actively communicating, you are still communicating.

As important as focusing on the way you communicate is to focus on the way you are communicating when you’re not actively interacting with others. This may take a little bit of thinking to get your head around, but what does it communicate when you don’t pickup the phone and it goes to voicemail? What does it communicate when you ignore someones email or text message? What does it communicate when you reply to an important message only after being reminded about it by them several times?

So if the meaning of the communication is the response that you get, what does your delayed or lack of interaction communicate? Think about it.

It is impossible to stop communicating.

The 5 Love Languages is a set of generalisations that help explain why certain people don’t feel loved in certain situations while others do. It is based on a book written by Gary Chapman called “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”.

It works on the idea that people receive and show love in five generalised ways. The five ways suggested in the book are:

• Compliments (i.e. having nice things said to you)
• Gifts (i.e. being given presents)
• Acts of Service (i.e. when someone makes the bed, mows the lawn or generally does something for you)
• Quality Time (i.e. when someone gives you their undivided attention and spends time with you)
• Touch (i.e. being held/touched)

So for example if someone feels most loved when they receive gifts then they may not feel totally loved in a relationship where they aren’t given gifts, even if they are touched in loving way and spend lots of quality time with their partner. If their partner was to begin giving gifts, even if they reduced quality time and the time spent touching then they would still feel more loved.

At the end of the day it is just another system of generalisation so take it with a grain of salt, but I have found it to be a really useful model when working on improving relationships with couples.

Recently I found this online test that is a quick and easy way to get a bit of insight into your primary love language. Well worth doing if you have a spare few minutes:

Further Reading:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman

Following on from last Friday this post focuses around ways to improve your communication skills. It is easy to believe that your communication comes down to the words that you use. But the truth is, communication isn’t what you say, it isn’t how you say it and it isn’t down to your body language either.

The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.

Pure and simple, communication is the response that you get from the other person. This means that when you talk to your partner, friends or colleagues you are going to get a response. And the response that you get is the meaning of your communication. It doesn’t matter what words you chose, if they are upset after you said them, then the meaning of your communication was to upset them (And that is how they’ll respond).

By focusing on how the person you’re communicating with responds you can’t help but become a more effective and successful communicator.

The meaning of your communication is the response that you get